Late night thoughts

You know, I've noticed something about myself. Most of my deep thoughts come late at night...when the kids are in bed...when my mind should be turning off for the day...

A lot of the times, my thoughts turn to old friends. Through out my life, I've had a fair amount of friends. But there has really only been a hand full of people who have meant anything to me and I find myself thinking about those people often. I wonder how they are doing. Are they happy? What are they doing? Do they ever think of me?

It's funny, because Alan and I have talked about this and some times he doesn't get it. But that is because he moved around so much that he didn't really have the time to make (real) friends or let alone really care about them. The ones he did care about are still his friends to this day.

Anyways, some times I feel like I'm totally nutso for even thinking about people that I don't keep in contact with, or even know any more. Some times I think about contacting the people and wonder if they would think "why?" OR I know some one who knows that person(s), but don't want to ask them how they are doing because I feel like they will wonder why I would still care.

I wonder if it is a one sided thing. Do those same people ever think about contacting me? Do they think about me? (wait did I already say that?) LOL...it's 1:00am...getting late...

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Why do people not respond to emails? Is it because they are too busy? Do they see it's from me and not respond because they aren't interested in me or keeping a friendship with me?

Ok, I'm really tired now. I'm going to bed...soon...